Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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