Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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