flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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