I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
