what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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