yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
