just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
so much tequila, so little girl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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