time to smoke my breakfast
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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