Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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