I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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