this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
