I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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