You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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