but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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