found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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