I must be too annoying 4 u.
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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