Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
