Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
