Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
