Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
