not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
