She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
