does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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