hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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