I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
