Kiss
Puke
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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