i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
