We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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