you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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