I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize