I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
