If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
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