Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
