strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
