He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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