It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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