Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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