While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
