You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
