My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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