I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
