$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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