I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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