why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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