i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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