Betty ford says i'm here all night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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