how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm getting married
To pizza
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
