Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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