i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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