they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
