I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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