Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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