i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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