giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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