Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
