he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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