nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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