She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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