i already hear my dad disowning me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
