I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
